Help! My name is Distressed Housewife and I’m addicted to social media networking.
There. I’ve said it. I’ve finally spoken the words out loud and frankly, it’s a relief. I’ve heard somewhere that admitting you have a problem is one of the first stages of recovery…and that talking about it helps.
So, what’s my story?
Well, I’ve been blogging for a year now and ‘tweeting’ for about nine months. The problem is, I love it…but I don’t think it loves me back. Well, not in THAT way, anyway.
I keep trying to get my feelings reciprocated but, like a stalker, my obsession leads me to rash, desperate behaviour on occasion (like pleading with people to read my blog posts and then checking obsessively for any responses).
I lurk in the shadows (a little shy and still unsure of social media etiquette), watching, waiting for an opportune time to make contact (respond to other tweets and blogs and share the love) and then when I finally pluck up the courage…I find that I have missed the metaphorical boat and that ‘real’ (if on-line) relationships have been formed in my absence (between people who are more computer literate, more consistent and less forgetful than myself).
Not unlike a pushy mother, I want my ‘baby’ (my blog) to be noticed and appreciated and when it is and I get the accolades (‘Blog of the Day’ or ‘Blog of the Week’), my heart swells with pride. Similarly when I get lots of ‘likes’, ‘comments’ and ‘retweets’ I experience a warm glow of happiness (or maybe that’s the wine).
When other people get the recognition instead, I read the posts and I’m honest enough with myself to know they deserve it over me so I will congratulate them accordingly, all the while trying to ignore the little internal voice that stage whispers, ’But I worked so haaaarrrd! I swear I’ll be funnier, more original and less sweary next time, honest I will!’ (with ‘pushy mum’ stereotype of mascara running in rivulets down a perfectly made up face, once-coiffed hair bedraggled and designer clothes dishevelled).
And so, like an exuberant puppy, enthusiastic to the point of being irritating and not always knowing when to stop, I will continue to keep ‘jumping up’ (Facebooking and ‘tweeting’ about my posts) and hope that you’ll forgive me because I’m just so damned ADORABLE (imagine affectionate pawing at your leg and vigorous tail wagging).
So I’m giving you puppy dog eyes RIGHT NOW – if you read my blog and like it, comment on it, purleeaaase! I promise I won’t lick your face or try to shag your leg (unless you really want me to).