I’ve just had a very enlightening hour or so with my sons where I’ve made all sorts of ‘interesting’ discoveries about their ambitions for the future (and their general states of mind).
I’ve learnt (on our after school walk) that in a week, our seven year old has changed his mind about his vocation and has gone from wanting to be a vet or international footballer to wanting to be a wrestler called ‘The Lion King.’
‘CAN I be a wrestler, Mum?’ he asked me with that look that says he thinks I have all the answers. Predictably I replied, ‘You can be anything you want to be, Sweetheart’, secretly thinking, ‘I wonder what qualifications he’d need to pursue this particular line of work and who the hell would I ask?’
Funnily enough, I don’t happen to have the numbers of The Rock or John Cena on speed dial.
Our three year old took the idea further by saying he was also going to be a wrestler, with spiky hair, big muscles and ‘drawings’ all over his arms and legs (tattoos). His stage name is going to be ‘Dinosaur Rex’ and he’s going to have sharp teeth and bite the head off a goose (we were walking past some geese at the time if that makes it any better?).
‘Honk! Honk!’ was our nearly-two year old’s contribution.
I may not have WWF wrestlers’ numbers on speed dial but maybe I should get one for a good psychotherapist.
‘I’d bite the leg off a turkey. I LOVE turkey legs!’ added our seven year old, until I reminded him that it was chicken legs he loves. Why I felt the need to clarify this point when my children were talking about barbarically ripping apart innocent winged creatures, I’m not sure.
As usual, our pre-schooler found a way to divert the conversation back to bums and willies which made them all laugh and then randomly our eldest told me about a time that my husband made him laugh so much that the pineapple juice he was drinking squirted down his nose.
As I was struggling to follow the arc of this particularly huge tangent our three year old, always wanting to go one better, said, ‘Daddy made ME laugh so much that a pineapple came out of my HEAD!’
NOW can you see why I drink so much wine? Happy Friday, everyone.